Mirror, mirror...Part two

Part two...what's all this, the Republicans are following our lead?!


Mirror, mirror, hung on wall

Are we really the worst of all?

Part two…what’s all this, the Republicans are following our lead?!

And so…back to the article published in The Guardian. I thought that since it was a mere slip of a girl of an article, it didn’t necessarily warrant more than a passing slap delivered to the back of the head as we strode on past, but I was wrong. There was so much which was downright offensive, that I couldn’t just let it pass. An American dissing our country as though it was going out of style? Please. Spare us.

But, he won’t. No, we know that. It’ll be a cold day in Hell, one assumes, based on plenty of evidence, when we cease to become a punch bag for “liberals” around the globe. No matter, we’ll summon the spirit of the galloping major, along with that of Papp Laci. We’ll get through this, don’t worry.

All right, on to the crap that was written about us. Now, I checked, and as far as The Guardian is concerned, I couldn’t find another article written by him which concerned us. Is that odd? I mean, don’t get me wrong…I didn’t trawl the internet for weeks in order to see if there was something hiding down the back of the sofa, but I had a bit of a look, and it appears that, as might well be expected, he’s not an expert on Hungary. For all I know he might be a world-renowned expert on Poland, India, and Turkey. But…if you were an expert on three countries, would you bother with journalism? Surely you’d follow the path that leads to consultancy work, no?

All right, never mind that. What else did he say? What other profound insights were revealed? You’re on the edge of your seats, aren’t you? I can tell…I can almost smell that you’re sitting there, riveted to the edge of your chairs!

All right, so…what did he say?

Well, we’ve learned that this new study is the largest ever of its kind. Wow! One for the record books, for size, if not for accurate content. We also learnt that the V-Dem Institute:

…used newly developed methods to measure and quantify the health of the world’s democracies when authoritarianism is on the rise.

Sorry, but says who? Says you?! What? You, with your newly developed techniques, which logic dictates are presumably not as reliable as the old methods. Then again, before the hand-wringing of “liberals” grew to encompass the globe, there wasn’t really a call for statistical analysis which determined how authoritarian a particular state was, was there? Not that I’m saying that I think that there’s a need for such analysis even now? These things are sort of noticeable, aren’t they? Did Iran or, for that matter, North Korea feature in the analysis? Yes? No? Does it matter? Ray Charles could answer the question on where those two lie, and he’s been dead for ages.

So what we’ve got is someone stating an opinion, making a claim, but doing so in such a way as to present this claim as fact. Simple trick, but a trick nonetheless. You can’t just state as a fact that “authoritarianism is on the rise”, that’s daft. That’s what you might think, but you’re not allowed to state it as a fact…that’s not cricket, mate.

Mr Borger then goes on to quote Anna Lührmann, the deputy director of V-Dem, who states, again, as a fact that the Republican transformation had been:

certainly the most dramatic shift in an established democracy.

Well, maybe, but maybe not.

Here you are, playing with new methods of statistical analysis and what-not, and for all we know, these new methods of yours might prove to be cat shit. Isn’t that possible? Are your methods so great that they exclude all possibilities of false results? Is that even possible?! As regards the impact of our prime minister on the world of newly-developing statistical analysis, I might just mention that V-Dem have what they call an “illiberalism index”. Guess where that terminology came from…yes, Tusnádfürdő, July 2014. Making a mark? I think we can all see that that is the case.

Anyway, on with the article. What other gems lie glinting in the sand?

Well, according to the study, the Republican party has followed a similar path to Fidesz. Blimey. Mr Borger, having read the study, nails a fact onto the wall with 6-inch nails with his conclusion from the conclusions of the authors of the study who state that Fidesz under Orbán has evolved from a liberal youth movement into an authoritarian party that has…now hold on to your hats and get this…

…made Hungary the first non-democracy in the European Union.

I beg your pardon. You what, mate? What have you been smoking? The first non-democracy in the European Union? Blimey, which Hungarian stole the jam from your doughnut? How on Earth can you gather all that arrogance in one man? This one man, who seems to know everything that there is to be known, full stop, has just stated, in an internationally-published article, that we are a non-democracy.

Great, catchy phrase and all that, but what does it mean? Well, what it means, is that this man, with all the intelligence that one might expect from a rock, has decided that our elections…you know, the things that are organised every 4 years as regards parliament, and every 5 years regarding local governments.

This man has, with a stroke of his pen, well, with a few manipulations of the keys on his keyboard, rendered the efforts Hungarians make every election, equal to nothing. Fucking cheek.

How dare he? Well, it’s not so much a question of how dare he, but rather why does he dare? And we all know the answer to that, don’t we? Yes. The view of “liberals” is that Hungarian democracy has been eroded by Fidesz since 1021.

If proof were needed, you need look no further than Christiane Amampour’s April 2020 interview with Minister for Foreign Affairs and Trade, Szijjártó Péter, where, having informed him that she knew that the Hungarian parliament was not operational, she discovered that there was so much egg on her face that she looked like a human omelette.

Try as she might, wriggling and writhing on the hook that her staff had pierced her with, she didn’t manage to come out of the interview with anything like the aplomb she no doubt likes to emanate as a general rule. She made an arse of herself. Further, her staff made an arse of their boss. Further still, Szijjártó repeatedly saw his chance, controlled the ball, and shot and scored again, and again, and again. He made her pay the price for her outrageous lie, and hit the back of the net more times than the Hungarian Golden Team. Hats off to him.

But, and I’ll end here. That’s why this fool with no knowledge dared to write lies about us…he’s a “liberal”, and they all have the same, basic factsheet at their disposal when it comes to our country. Don’t expect anything better from these muppets, but don’t allow this continual grind to wear you down. Please. I still get upset every time I read a lie about this country, and I expect the rest of you to follow suit.

“Non-democracy”, my arse.