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Oh. Oh dear. Well, that sucks, doesn't it?


Oh. Oh dear. Well, that sucks, doesn't it?

Now, it’s time that we introduced the people who go out of their way to trip others up. Yes, that’s right. Here I am, banging on all the time about the opposition and their outrageous behaviour, and there exists the distinct possibility that you’re not up to speed on who they are and what it is about them that causes normal people to roll their eyes and change the subject whenever their names pop up.

One, quite distinct type of behaviour we see on a regular basis is one that Jobbik have embraced as their own:

Jobbik love nothing better than to stand up in parliament, shout abuse at the ministers of the government, speak to the Prime Minister in a manner less than befitting, and then, having been warned about their behaviour repeatedly by the Speaker of the House, get their microphones switched off as a punishment. At this point, they slump back in their seats, hands from all their mates clapping them on the shoulders, and look grumpy, if a bit smug, satisfied that they have once again shown that they are as hard as nails, if not a little bit harder.

One presumes that this appeals to their rebellious supporters who doubtlessly are left rolling on the floor in front of their TV screens, unable to control their bladders due to the mirth. Yes, those are their parliamentarians: fighting the man, answering back to teacher, sticking their tongues out at the head master when he turns his back. You know what they’re like, you must remember the hard boys from school, surely? Some of them grew up and found a cushy job in parliament, and some others joined a band and became even harder than nails!

Some of the others, the ones who didn’t study an instrument ended up in the Hungarian parliament, where, under the tutelage of the hardest man they know: Jakab Péter, they learnt how to sit at the back of the bus, chewing chewing gum, stealing the younger kids’ dinner money, and even smoking illicit fags!

All right, but that’s only one type of opposition MP to be found in the weird and wonderful world that is encompassed by the Hungarian parliament.

Another type of opposition MP is represented by this silly sod:

Forrás: Facebook/Kórozs Lajos
Yes, Lajos Kórozs, a man who makes broken chair legs seem positively bursting with intelligent thought. Yes, he’s that good. Lajos is a man who seems to have an uncontrollable desire to launch into attacks on the government. Normally, this follows a prescribed trajectory. Having assured the leadership of the party he is an MP for (the socialists) that they have nothing to worry about; this time everything has been checked and double-checked, Lajos then launches into his attack in the style of a fast car 0-60 in a couple of seconds. Then, normally, there is a pause, and someone points out to Lajos that, once again, the wheels have fallen off.

Earlier this year, when the government urged the nation to stand together in order that we might best deal with the coronavirus, the opposition decided that they weren't going to have any of that. In fact, they went further, and decided that not only were they not going to cooperate, but in the manner of one of those daft, microscopic canines which don't bark, but rather yip and yap, they were going to spend their time nipping at the ankles of the government.

Lajos usually starts off determined to hurt the government where it hurts. Within a short time, however, Lajos is sat on the ground, egg all over his face.

In the spring of 2020, he produced, like a rabbit from a hat, a woman who claimed to be a paramedic of 43 years' experience. This woman was paraded about on video and television by Lajos and told her sad tale.

Her sad tale came in response to the Minister of Health's recommendation that hospital beds be freed up for the predicted increase in coronavirus patients. People who could recuperate at home were sent home, people whose operations could be postponed had their operations postponed. Some hospital beds in some hospital wards were converted into intensive care beds with ventilators attached.

This woman, this supposed paramedic claimed that she volunteered to care for up to ten patients discharged as a result. She went on to highlight the danger of the policy by claiming that of the ten patients she took on, nine were dead within a week.

Lajos created a video complete with interviews and sad violins playing in the background, and stood in front of the national ambulance service headquarters to highlight the damage that the present government policy was doing.

Of course, it was all bollocks. The story in question started to unravel almost as soon as it had been released. The woman in question couldn't remember the name of the college where she gained her qualifications. She wasn't prepared to state for which ambulance service she'd worked. It transpired that she'd never worked for any ambulance service, that was merely implied. Her own daughter surfaced and told the world that her mother was a fantasist whose lightest utterance couldn't be trusted. The woman's volunteer work was charged for, at an exorbitant hourly rate, with extra payment required for massaging the limbs of her patients. Very swiftly the guise of a saint in nurse's clothing fell to the ground.

The socialists tried to shore up the mess as it came tumbling down around their heads. But they soon realised that it was hopeless, and stopped insisting that they'd checked the story.

And what of Lajos? Well, apart from the deep hope that he had his nuts slammed in the door for making such a pig's arse of the whole thing, nothing happened. He deftly side-stepped the woman in question, pushing her under the bus as he tiptoed nimbly along the pavement. She, he insisted, was to be held responsible, not him. She had misled everyone, himself included, and as such, he was a victim to be pitied, as well.

Piss off, Lajos. Not even your nearest and dearest would buy that lie.

And these are our neighbours. Heaven help us all.